Memories of the Bell Flower
by Sephira jo
Summary: Hmm real summary: Set fifty years ago, a very much alive Kikyou struggles with her growing feelings for Inu Yasha and her duties as a Miko. Warning: Loads of angst and limey content. R&R please! Read and Review! I need to know what you think.
1. The Night of Snow

Memories of the Bell Flower

Chapter One: The Night of Snow

  


by Sephira jo (contact at: sephirajo@yahoo.com)

  


Rating R: For limey and lemony goodness, tons of angst and other lovely fluffy things.

  


Authors Note: This story may piss of those of you who hate Kikyou. Yep, this story is an Inu Yasha/Kikyou fic. Those of you who don't like it, well you get the idea. Don't read. For your sanity and mine however please remember that this fic is set 50 years in the past before Naraku and endorses the PRE-ZOMBIEFIED Kikyou ONLY. Remember that this is before she became the star of "Night of the undead Miko." Please remember that and don't send the Spanish Inquisition after me. (Oh no, not the horror of the comfy chair!!! NOOOOOOO.)

  


Notes to the REVISED edition: Hey guys, I've revised! Some things changed, some things added, and some things taken away. I hope you enjoy it! I've also tried to fix all the dumb ass errors I managed to make at 3 o'clock in the morning. *grins sheepishly* So I hope you enjoy, remember reviews are always welcome!

  


Disclaimer: I don't own Inu Yasha, I never have!! *sniffle sniffle* and If I did, he'd be mine! All mine. . . . 

  


* * ^-^ * * 

  


The snow fell, leaving a freshly created blanket of white lightly covering the ground. Kikyou walked briskly through the fallen powder smiling to herself about the one that followed her from the trees above. Inu Yasha insisted that it was easier to see oncoming threats from the trees and followed her from above ground instead of walking with her. She just wished, even if only for a moment, that he would leave his wooden posts to walk beside her. She _knew _that such a thing shouldn't, no couldn't be allowed to happen. A relationship between a Miko and a hanyou was something ludicrous, something that could be seen as a weakness on both their parts. And as the protector of the Shikon no Tama, weakness were something that she could not afford.

  


Night was coming on, darkening the shadows on the snow to a pale blue. Kikyou looked up at the sky and felt the falling flakes brush past her face. She wished, if only for one night, that she could be a normal woman. Seventeen years untouched; childhood friends of her had long ago married and started families, leaving her single and alone. 

  


Kikyou looked up at her arboreal follower and smiled sadly, admiring the strong form of the hanyou that moved from tree to tree with his unique, inhuman grace. How handsome he was, with his long silver hair and red robes. Inu Yasha looked down at her then. Although she couldn't see his face very well from her vantage point she was sure he smiled down at her. Kikyou felt her face flush and she looked away quickly.

  


She heard the branches above her rustle and she smiled softly to herself as Inu Yasha flew to the ground beside her. He looked at Kikyou and the shy smile she had begun to coax out of him pulled at the corners of his lips. As Kikyou smiled back she admired the golden eyes, the silver hair and his inhuman ears.

  


"Um, did you hear me Kikyou?" Inu Yasha's voice broke through her stare. Kikyou flushed, shook her head and chided herself. Such lapses in concentration were not called for. They could be deadly. Inu Yasha chuckled slightly, the sound adding to Kikyou's ire at herself, she didn't need to be reminded of her tendency to get lost in thought around him.

  


"I said that there's an abandoned cabin ahead. With night coming on, I thought you might need some rest."

  


Kikyou smiled and nodded. Inu Yasha grinned back, pleased that he was able to do something for her. In so many ways, she found herself caring for the dog demon. Little things like this always managed to remind her how much she cared. Normally she would not have stopped for the night, had it been just her, preferring to instead head back to the village as soon as possible. A night in an abandoned cabin was something that she would only consider when accompanied. It also helped that her companion was as handsome as he was, making the notion of spending the night in the cabin much more appealing.

  


Kikyou smiled with an enthusiasm that she thought long lost. Yes, a night alone with Inu Yasha was more then appealing.

  


* * *

  


The interior of the small cabin was sparse. It showed signs of having been furnished: a large square where a futon had been laid and evidence of a table and other things but these comforts had gone long ago, leaving only dusty traces of evidence visible in their wake. Kikyou walked into the old cabin, breathing out in relief for getting out of the cold. Inu Yasha followed her in, his light foot falls barely audible on the dusty floor boards. Kikyou could hear him get a fire going in what was left of a fire pit. Still not facing him, nor saying anything, Kikyou set down her bow and quiver in the corner then felt her hand stray to the Shikon no Tama fixed on the necklace she had made for it.

  


Kikyou always wore the jewel while traveling, if for no other reason then a moving target was harder to hit. Having it in the village for extended periods of time led youkai, oni and dark hearted men to her home. Traveling made it easier to avoid the risk of an attack on the village that could cost her the lives of her sister and neighbors. Even Inu Yasha had been seeking the jewel for his own reasons. Kikyou stole a quick glance back at him.

  


He was down on one knee stoking the small fire with a stick. The light reflected of his silver hair, making it glow in the dim, dancing light. Kikyou sighed, not only did she care for him deeply, but she also found him very attractive. _Ridiculous!_ She thought to herself angrily as she flushed and quickly looked away when his gaze met hers. She tried to stop the thoughts that raced through her mind; however, images of his body pressed against her, low pants and moans, broken whispers and half-heard promises ran through her mind. He was a hanyou, she a miko. Just for once she wanted to be with him, like a normal woman would be with a lover.

  


Taking care not to look at Inu Yasha's face she walked over to the fire and sat down close to him, hoping that he would attribute the flush in her cheeks to warmth of the fire. Kikyou let the warmth from the fire soak into her body, warming her. Her hand absently moved to the Shikon jewel hanging from her neck, she moved it idly through her fingers as she watched Inu Yasha sit next to her. Her eyes moved over every part of him, but out of a combination of embarrassment and nervousness of getting caught, avoided his eyes.

  


Kikyou smiled softly, it seemed to her that fate had brought them together. In their own ways, they were so alike. Both of them lived lives that separated them from others. His mixed blood made him an outcast to both humans and youkai, her inborn power and responsibilities as a miko set her apart from humans, and made her a foe to all others. At least when together, they would never be alone.

  


"Kikyou?" The whispered question shocked her out of her train of thought and she lifted her eyes to Inu Yasha's. She could feel a blush in her cheeks and quickly looked away.

  


_Damn it! _She thought vehemently, _he's a dog demon. He can SMELL these kind of things for sure._ Kikyou tried to fight down the desire that arose within her, but she could still fell the blood rush to her face and cause her to blush even more.

  


"Kikyou?" Again he spoke her name as a question and this time he gently took her face in his hand and turned it to face his. The look in his golden eyes was questioning and confused, but tinged with something else. It was something darker and dangerous. Something that, despite her better judgment excited and enticed her.

  


"Uh, what's wrong, Kikyou?" Inu Yasha's voice was husky, like a man caught surprised.

  


"Inu Yasha?" Kikyou whispered, letting her eyes stay locked with his, those golden pools shifting and changing With the light of the fire.

  


"Yes?" The questioning reply was barely above a whisper. Kikyou watched him answer, fascinated by the movement of his lips and she imagined them in other places, occupied with other things.

  


"How do you see me?" Kikyou asked softly, the question calling on courage she didn't know she had.

  


"What?" Inu Yasha asked, apparently confused and shocked by her question. His fingers starting to slowly stroke the soft skin of her cheek.

  


"What am I to you?" She asked, trying to find the words to clarify her question. She shifted, moving closer to the hanyou, feeling the heat of his body move over hers. "Do you see me as a woman?" She asked, glancing downward, afraid to see his face as she gave voice to the last question.

  


"Eh? What's that supposed to mean?" He answered, his hands dropping away from her face and down to his side as he looked away from her and stared into the fire. His face flushed and he looked embarrassed.

  


Kikyou sighed. No, of course he wouldn't see her as a woman. She was an idol kept on a pedestal, far away from even the thought of the touch of another. Inu Yasha's answer reflected this.

  


"I mean, you're a miko, you. . . I . . . we . . . can't think about things like that." His face was red and he shook his head as if trying to dispel unwanted thoughts.

  


"It would make me happy . . . if you could . . ." Kikyou said quietly wrapping her arms around herself. Trying to give herself some small comfort, "If you could see me as a woman."

  


_Damn this jewel!_ Kikyou thought, _damn it, damn this THING that keeps us from being together._

  


Kikyou looked over at him and smiled sadly. She felt tears in her eyes as she looked back at Inu Yasha, his eyes conflicted, stared back at her.

  


"You won't taint me. You never could . . ."

  


The next thing she said, she couldn't believe as the words slid out of her mouth of their own volition, "I love you, Inu Yasha." When she realized what she had said, she clapped a small hand over her mouth as if she could take the words she spoke back.

  


Inu Yasha's hand gently took hers from her mouth and held it in his own, Kikyou could tell he was being gentle With her; he avoided touching her With his claws. His smile was one that was half arrogant triumph and half shared compassion. It was something human and inhuman at the same time and it entranced Kikyou, and drew her in.

  


"I love you too, Kikyou. But that doesn't change anything. The 'love' of a hanyou would taint you." Kikyou felt the tears that had been welling up behind her eyes spill on to her cheek.

  


"So, I can never be a woman to you. . ." Kikyou sighed, closing her eyes as the feelings of loneliness and isolation were nothing new to the young woman, but she wished that they weren't. She wished that for one night at least she could be a normal woman alone with the man she wanted so deeply.

  


"Damnit, Kikyou, _that's_ not what I meant." Inu Yasha's voice was harsh, the reprimand clear. Kikyou opened her eyes to find his face a hairbreadth away from her own. Her breath caught as his eyes locked with hers, their deep amber color tinged with an animalistic need that stole her heart, heated her body and fired her emotions.

  


Kikyou felt the needs and wants she had thought long buried began to rise with the look that he gave her. She wanted, no _needed_ to be with him.

  


"I can smell you, you know. And when we're alone like this, its very, very hard for me to control myself. But I don't want to hurt you. Damnit Kikyou, I don't want to taint you!"

  


Inu Yasha's voice was cut off as Kikyou pressed her lips to his, silencing him with an unpracticed kiss. Kikyou hadn't been sure what type of reaction to expect from him, so when his lips moved against hers with a passion and force that she hadn't expected, she gasped, only to find that he took the opportunity her open mouth presented to slide his tongue inside her mouth in a deep, passionate kiss that laid claim to her in a way she had never expected.

  


Shyly, she answered back With her own tongue, tasting him. She heard him growl as he took her action as an invitation to deepen their kiss even further. She felt a fang brush against her tongue, bite at her lip. Kikyou heard herself moan, but she was so removed from the sound that for a moment, she wasn't even sure that it had come from her at all.

  


Inu Yasha pushed Kikyou back and she grunted when she hit the floor, the force of the blow something unexpected. She opened her eyes to find Inu Yasha over her, his legs straddled over her waist, pinning her to the floor with his weight. He was looking down at her, his eyes alight with dark fire.

  


"Well, Kikyou, you do know what happens next, don't you?" Inu Yasha asked, his voice dark as he ground his body against hers, trying to convey without words what he wanted. Kikyou nodded, assent and love tinged with fear coloring her eyes. Inu Yasha snarled and leaned down to bite her on the neck, the last strains of his control snapping. He needed to be sure.

  


"I don't want to taint you, Kikyou." He said, one last time, giving her a chance to back out.

  


"You could never taint me." The answer was simple and heartfelt, with that the last of his control snapped.


	2. Mine, by the Fire

Memories of the Bell Flower

Chapter 2: Mine, by the Fire

by Sephira jo (contact at sephirajo@yahoo.com)

  
  


Rating: R, for tasteful sex and limey goodness. Remember to take the rating seriously! R rated movies have semi-graphic to sex these days . . . don't believe me? It's there . . . in movies like Daredevil (and that was rated PG13!!) and in Ghost and even in Dances With Wolves. Sex is a part of life . . . and its in R rated movies. Remember that and take the rating seriously.

  


Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers and such apply. I OWN NOTHING! NOTHING . . . or is it I AM GIR . . . hmmmm. Any way, I don't own Inu Yasha or anything like that . . . so no sue me please. Inu Yasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and Viz. Communications.

  
  


* * ^-^ * *

  


Inu Yasha assaulted Kikyou's mouth in an animalistic way that she had never expected, and it almost scared her that she enjoyed it. Almost. His tongue battled with hers, and she felt a heated sensation begin to rise in her body. His hand grasped at the nape of her neck, tangling in her ebony hair, tilting her head back even farther he somehow managed to deepen the kiss that they shared.

  


His other hand roamed over her body, his claws skimming her clothing in a feather light touch. Only when she heard the sounds of tearing fabric did she realize what had appeared to be a gentle touch was really meant to make short work of her clothing. Her breasts now bared to the man before her, Kikyou shivered slightly at the touch of the cold night air upon her flesh. However the thought of the air upon her was quickly forgotten when Inu Yasha's clawed hand lightly grazed the flesh there. Somehow, without breaking the kiss, Kikyou heard herself moan softly.

  


Inu Yasha's mouth moved away from hers, leaving her bereft, only to gasp when his fangs grazed her neck, nipping the soft flesh there. Slowly, seemingly torturing her intentionally, his mouth and tongue and fangs worked their way down to Kikyou's breasts, leaving in their wake a trail of small red bite marks. Kikyou wanted to speak, to tell him anything, but her voice didn't seem to be working correctly and she couldn't form the words she wanted. Instead of words, her voice came forth as soft pants, gasps and whimpered moans.

  


Inu Yasha chuckled, her reaction amusing him. Kikyou opened her mouth to chide him for his amusement, only to have her reply lost on a gasp, followed by a low moan as Inu Yasha's mouth closed around one nipple, his teeth pulling softly as his tongue caressed it in turn. When his mouth moved to her other breast, some part of her mind realized what he was doing. _He's claiming me,_ she thought. The thought was heady and intoxicating and extremely erotic. _I'm something to be claimed_ . . . the truth of that statement sent Kikyou's mind reeling.

  


Kikyou finally found the power to speak as his mouth moved down to the fabric of her miko's skirt, bitting it and tugging at it, all the while growling softly.

  


"Inu Yasha. . . " was the only thing Kikyou was able to say however, but he responded to it, snarling out something that sounded remotely like her name. Kikyou shifted beneath him, trying to get the leverage she needed to undress him. The need to see him was growing stronger, and was unbearable as his hands and teeth finally worked free the ties on her skirt.

  


Inu Yasha let loose a throaty laugh that sounded more like a growl then anything else, "Not yet," was all he said, as he grabbed her hands and pinned them to the ground. Kikyou's eyes met his, the light of the fire dancing in his golden eyes that were lit with something darker than the flame would ever be and shaded by an odd reflection of love, twinged with an unbearable lust.

  


Kikyou felt herself blush under his gaze, but her eyes fluttered closed as his skilled hands ran down her body, removing the last vestiges of her clothing. The cold air kissed her exposed skin, making her shiver slightly.

  


Her hands now free to pursue at least some of her desire, she reached up and ran them through Inu Yasha's silky, silver hair. Kikyou tried to pull his head down to meet hers, only to have him take one of her hands and gently nibble at it with his fangs.

  


"Beautiful," he spoke into the palm of her hand, and disengaging her other hand from him, he leaned down and kissed her lightly on the stomach nipping with his teeth as his mouth moved farther down her body. Kikyou's eyes shot open with a gasp that deepened into a moan as his mouth closed over her, his tongue lapping at the most intimate part of her.

  


Kikyou gasped, the sensation and the dark pleasure rose until suddenly something snapped. Waves of white-hot pleasure shot through her. She rode the cloud that followed, gasping softly after a silent scream that was heard by the one person that mattered, the only other person that existed in her world.

  


She was vaguely aware of Inu Yasha's hands turning her over, lifting her to rest on her hands and knees. Snippets of speech reached her ears, she tried to sort the words out but her mind was hazy and she couldn't seem to put them together right. Out of the jumbled noises all she seemed to understand was the word 'pain' and a muttered apology.

  


What seemed like miles away, she could hear the soft rustle of fabric and the part of her mind that was still able to think understood that Inu Yasha was removing his clothing. The last thing that stood between them was thrown aside as Inu Yasha's body covered hers. He bit her ear lightly and Kikyou could feel him readying himself behind her.

  


"I want you. . . Kikyou . . ." He whispered in her ear, his breath brushing softly against her cheek. And then in one smooth, strong motion, he claimed her.

  


Kikyou cried out in a combination of shock and pain as he filled her body with his. He stopped for just a moment and the pain receded, as short lived as it was sharp. Inu Yasha began to move again, slowly at first, then faster and Kikyou lost herself in passion. The Shikon jewel bumped against her chest, rocked by the motion of their joined bodies. 

  


Kikyou cried out as she felt herself shatter for a second time that night. Only this time, she wasn't alone. Inu Yasha made a strangled sound then bit down on her neck, hard, drawing blood. Kikyou felt warmth fill her and she shuddered beneath him.

  


Kikyou was content, but ever more so, she was tired, as if Inu Yasha had somehow managed to sap her energy out of her. Inu Yasha pulled her down with him and not moving away from her, he positioned the two of them as comfortably as he could on the floor, pulling his red robe over them, serving as a blanket. Kikyou smiled softly and snuggled closer to Inu Yasha, her back warming at the touch of his chest.

  


One of Inu Yasha's hands stroked at her hair, pushing stray strands away from her face. He spoke, nipping softly at her ear as he did so.

  


"You're mine now, Kikyou. I'll always protect you . . ."

  


Kikyou smiled softly, warmed by his words, warmed by his body and warmed by the small fire she drifted slowly of to sleep. She felt, for the first time in her life, like a normal woman. The last thing she felt before losing herself entirely to sleep was a stray tear roam down her cheek.

  


* * *

  


Kikyou laid in a field. The sun was bright with the hope and happiness laced into the dream. She stretched lazily, enjoying the warmth that soaked into her skin through the thick fabric of her kimono. _Kimono?_ Kikyou looked again, not sure she was seeing right. Another look confirmed it; she was wearing a simple kimono of green and yellow, not the dress of a shrine maiden. Kikyou smiled, her lower lip trembling with the onset of emotion accompanied the epiphany. _I am an ordinary woman. . ._

  


The laughter of children caught her ears, and Kikyou sat upright, shielding her eyes from the extreme brightness of the sun. Two young children, a small boy and even younger girl, came racing up to her. Both had dark hair and curious golden eyes bright with emotion. They stopped in front of her, gesturing wildly and giggling, grabbing her sleeves dragging her with them. Kikyou smiled, an expression she hardly every allowed herself, and it felt good.

  


She allowed the children to lead her, their laughter drawing forth her own. Indeed their joy seemed to be infectious, adding to hers as she playfully chased them and followed to where they led her. The girl tugged on her hand as the boy took off ahead, over a tall rise. When Kikyou reached the top of the hill her run slowed, and stopped. Inu Yasha was there, a simple smile on his face as he picked up the young boy and swung him around, much to the child's amusement. He laughed and playfully nipped at the young boy as the child reached for and tweaked Inu Yasha's ears. Then he placed the small boy back on the ground, the child running full tilt toward Kikyou again.

  


The young girl pulled on her hand, jumping up and down wildly, pulling her toward Inu Yasha. He looked toward her and smiled, a different type of smile then the one he had given the young boy. A smile between lovers. As the children pushed her toward him, she felt herself smile back. One hard push from both children sent her falling forward, only to be caught by a smiling, laughing Inu Yasha, who used catching her as an excuse to pull her close. He wrapped his arms tightly around her.

  


Kikyou felt her arms respond in kinda and they embraced. The children happy, ran in circles around them both, laughing. Kikyou buried her face in Inu Yasha's chest taking comfort in the warmth she found there. _This is it, _she thought, _This is the life I want. But even now he's a hanyou . . ._

  


That thought was all it took and the scene shattered. Kikyou stood alone in a field, once again in her miko garb. In her hands was the familiar presence of the Shikon jewel. Kikyou looked around, confused and suddenly very alone even a little frightened. She took a couple steps forward and then gasped and fell forward as the sting of claws dug into her left shoulder, cutting deep rending even the lung.

  


In her fall the jewel had rolled away from her, just out of grasp of her hand. She reached for it, ignoring the pain growing in her side and shoulder as her lungs burned. A foot came down hard upon her hand and she could hear the bone there crack. She looked up, her eyes wide with shock as Inu Yasha stared down at her, his eyes cold and impassive and lit with feral triumph. He spoke, but to her the words were indistinct even though their meaning was clear.

  


He had betrayed her. Kikyou screamed as he took the jewel, leaving her there to die on the fields. Her world suddenly erupted in fire and she screamed again watching him walk away from her, the jewel clutched in a clawed hand, leaving her alone. He walked as if he had done nothing wrong and the flames around her began to consume her body. She was hot, so very hot.

  


* * *

  


Kikyou's eyes shot open, and she found herself staring into the dying fire, Inu Yasha's arms still wrapped around her. He was still asleep, making a noise halfway between a snore and a contented purr. Kikyou relaxed as the images from the nightmare faded. Even though they were quickly pushed aside, she shivered as she realized that the fear was still there. She didn't completely trust him, and she knew then she most likely never would. The thought was sobering, especially in the light of the passion that had shared.

  


She maneuvered herself to face him, his arms still tightly around her. The action made certain muscles scream in protest, still sore from earlier. She looked up at his face, trying to keep hers impassive just as she had been trained to do. He was so handsome in a very unearthly way. His hair gleamed silver in the dying fire light, and she knew that under his sleeping lids his eyes were a deep swirling gold. And the most unusual feature of all was the one she loved most: the dog ears. They gave him the impression of being an overgrown puppy, though Kikyou suspected that he wouldn't like that comparison one bit.

  


Handsome, but still not human. Her lover, but by all rights and training her enemy. Kikyou began to shake, _if only, _she thought, _if only there was a way we could both be normal humans, then we could have that life I dreamed._ Inu Yasha's arms wound more tightly around her, pulling her closer to him, whispering some wordless phrase that must have been meant to calm her down.

  


Kikyou allowed herself to stop shaking, closing her eyes as she listened to the steady rhythm of Inu Yasha's heart beat. _I'll find a way,_ she promised herself,_ I'll find away to make sure we can be together, always._ Her heart determined, Kikyou let sleep take her once again, this time undisturbed by dreams.

  


* * ^-^ * *


	3. A Single Heart Beat

Memories of the Bell Flower

Chapter 3: A Single Heart Beat

  


By Sephira jo (contact at: sephirajo@yahoo.com)

  


Rating: R. For adult situations, violence, angst and the like. If you don't like these kind of stories, just don't read 'em.

  


Disclaimers: I own nothing! NOTHING!!! Except for my dvds and manga, but I make no money off of this, no sue me, NO SUE!!!! *runs around in circles*

  


Author's Ramblings: Hey Everyone! *pauses and waits, everyone: Hi Sephira jo!* Here I am back with chapter three of Memories, not really part of what I was planing, but hey, what the hell, right? Any way, I want to thank everyone that has reviewed and read my story! Thanks! And due to popular demand this story will stay an Inu/Kikyou Fic, no Kagome loving here. *awww, poor Kagome, denied the Inu Love. . . .* It kind of cuts the fic in half but hey, I don't care. :P I'll just focus on the Inu/Kikyou Doomed relationship which I love obsessing about so much. So beware of Angst, Keep reviewing and down with the blasphemers who believe not in the Inu/Kikyou lovin'! 

  


Thanks to everyone who reviewed! You don't know how much it means to me (really you don't.) So keep on reviewing people! It makes me feel loveded. 

  


Japanese terms:

Betsuni: No, not really.

Eh: A simpler version of yes. (Which could also be said Ah, or Hai)

Ne: Right? (If you know Spanish its kind of the same thing as veradad in this usage.

Onee-sama: Very polite way of referring to an older sister.

  


* * *

  


Kikyou opened her eyes slowly, the morning light sifting through the shadows in the small cabin where she'd been sleeping peacefully. Her eyes focused and she realized that she was cuddled close to a warm, naked and sleeping Inu Yasha. Kikyou started for a moment, until the memory of the night before dawned on her as surely as the sun rose outside.

  


Kikyou smiled and began to move away from the sleeping hanyou, knowing that it was time to start heading back to her village. She had moved only a little ways away from him, when she felt a hand grasp her wrist. She looked up to see Inu Yasha smiling slyly at her, his expression positively demonic with his fangs showing as he smiled.

  


"Where do you think you're going?" Inu Yasha asked, his voice both playful and passionate.

  


Kikyou smiled back, and she could feel it reflect in her eyes, "It's morning, we should be going soon," She returned, keeping her voice at a whisper for a reason she couldn't quite define.

  


"Oh no you don't," Inu Yasha said with a chuckle then pulled her close to him, rolling on top of her. Kikyou stared up at his golden eyes, her own dark blue eyes bemused.

  


"Oh really? And why not?" She answered back, as Inu Yasha rained kisses and bites down on her face and neck.

  
  


"Because Kikyou, _you_ are _mine_ now. You don't go anywhere until I say so."

  


"Is that so?" She asked simply, gasping when he bit her neck a little harder, breaking the freshly healed skin. Kikyou ran her hands through Inu Yasha's thick hair, enjoying the way that luxurious strands felt in her hands, play around her fingers. Kikyou also found herself enjoying the feeling caused by Inu Yasha lapping up the blood from the reopened bit wound.

  


Inu Yasha made a noise that sounded affirmative. A kind of snarling yes. Kikyou giggled, only to have it into a sharp gasp as he claimed her a second time. Inu Yasha's gaze caught and held hers, his eyes more feral then she had ever seen them. The look in his eyes held hers as he thrust into her violently.

  


Inu Yasha positioned her legs around him to allow deeper thrusts, taking more of her as he saw fit. His face touched hers, his eyes dark as he spoke, "You don't go anywhere, do anything, until I say so. Kikyou. . . " his voice cut off, and her name came out harsh-sounding as he became fiercer; Kikyou let out a strangled moan.

  


"Scream for me," Inu Yasha growled, the command harsh, loving and intoxicating. Kikyou felt the heat between them rising with every word, every touch and every hard stroke he directed toward her.

  


"Scream!" The command was strangled on the end of a moan, and as her world shattered kikyou had no other choice but to comply. She screamed, her voice joined by Inu yasha's in a strange duet as he followed her over the edge that she willingly plummeted over, pulling his hair and kissing him deeply while his claws grazed her skin.

  


* * *

  


Over an hour later, Kikyou was finally able to get enough time to dress herself the best she could. Inu Yasha's attentions from the pervious evening had destroyed a good portion of her miko robes. They now barely covered the skin of her chest, and Kikyou arranged them the best that she could. Not that it wasn't anything that couldn't be fixed later, she just had neither the time nor the tools to do so here. She laughed softly as she glanced over at Inu Yasha as he sat on the other side of the cabin, dressing and staring at her sheepishly.

  


"Sorry," Inu Yasha said softly, so softly in fact that Kikyou could hardly make it out.

  


"What are you apologizing for?" Kikyou asked simply, her hands flipping her ebony hair over her shoulders in a simple and effective motion. She turned around to face the half-dressed hanyou, who just stared up at her, his expression conflicted. To Kikyou he seemed even more handsome now then he had the night before. As she tied her hair back she had to fight the urge to jump him.

  


"You know damn well what I'm apologizing for, Kikyou!" He started only to be stopped suddenly when Kikyou gave into the ever present impulse to throw her arms around him.

  


"Don't apologize," Kikyou whispered, "I enjoyed it, after all, I am a normal woman," She finished, wincing at the lie she ended the sentence with. After all, as long as the Shikon no Tama existed she could never be just a normal woman. She knew that, and she knew that Inu Yasha knew as well; however, for that single moment, as she embraced him in the cabin their hearts seemed to beat as one. Both were more then willing to believe the lie that Kikyou spoke. As his arms wound tightly around her, Kikyou, herself, almost believed it to be true. A normal woman, somehow it didn't seem like an impossible dream anymore.

  


"We really should get going," Inu Yasha's unusually soft tone of voice broke Kikyou's tenuous reprieve, and she pulled away from the embrace blushing, unable to look him straight in the face despite the intimacy they had shared. 

  


Kikyou stepped away from Inu Yasha subconsciously placing the barrier of what they were between them. Kikyou stared at the floor as she picked up her bow and quiver. Settling the latter over her shoulder she prepared herself to leave the one place on earth where she had ever found happiness. Without thinking, her hand wandered to the Shikon jewel still around her neck. 

  


Turning to face Inu Yasha, Kikyou felt the mask she wore all her life slip easily over her emotions, wants and needs. 

  


"Let's go," Kikyou spoke the words simply and they were nothing short of a command.

  


Inu Yasha recognized the pretense for what it was, and Kikyou could tell from only a glance that the mask he wore all his life, the mask that kept him alive when everyone around him had perished, slipped over him, making his eyes harsh and cold in the midmorning light. Kikyou sighed, she wished that both of their masks could fall permanently, bringing a softness to his eyes and life into hers. Silently she vowed to find a way to make that possible, no matter what the cost.

  


Kikyou and Inu Yasha walked back toward the village as if nothing had changed between them. She, her feet firmly on the ground and he, leaping from tree to tree high above her. The fallen snow was already dying in the warm morning's light, making the ground beneath her feet wet and cold. As they came to the rise that gave way to Kikyou's village, she stopped and looked up at Inu Yasha. The question in her eyes was apparent even from the distance that separated them.

  


_"Will you come to the village with me?"_ Was the unspoken question and Kikyou held her breath awaiting his silent answer, praying that it would be different from all the other times.

  


From his post high above her, he shook his head vehemently. Kikyou's breath released in a discontented sigh. _Is it me he doesn't trust, or is it everyone else?_ She wondered, her thoughts bitter. Inu Yasha didn't move from the tree he stood atop of, he just stood there and watched her. Waiting for her to go ahead without him, assured of the fact that this close to the village there wouldn't be any danger to protect her from.

  


Kikyou swallowed, holding back the tears that stung her eyes. _He doesn't trust me_, was the first thing thought that burned in her mind, _he doesn't trust me to keep him safe, the way he watches over me._ The next moment she buried those thoughts, it wasn't her he didn't trust, it was other humans. It was that mistrust that kept him alive. It was that mistrust that made him every bit as lonely as she.

  


Kikyou steeled herself, burying the emotions running through her deep inside. Hiding them in the same place where she had long ago learned to hid her heart and hide her soul. A deep breath later and a single glance back to the trees, she strode forward to the prison that masqueraded as her home.

  


"Onee-sama!" Kaede's voice rang out over the hill, quickly followed by her little sister's running and smiling form. Kikyou smiled sadly, Kaede always suffered greatly when Kikyou traveled leaving her alone. It would've been different had their parents lived, but both had died long ago. Kaede reached her and threw her small arms around her beloved Onee-sama.

  


"Onee-sama, I missed you _so _much!" Kaede exclaimed, snuggling as close as she could. Kikyou knelt down and hugged her little sister back, "Why do you have to go away like that?" Kaede asked innocently looking up, her face lit with a warm smile that was the opposite of the sad one that was a fixture on Kikyou's face.

  


Kikyou stood up and looked down at her little sister, smiling the best she could, "I go away to keep you safe, Kaede. You _know_ that."

  


Kaede eyed her older sister carefully, she could tell that there was something different about her, beyond the tattered clothing, "Onee-sama, what happened to your clothes?" She asked with the innocence that only a child could muster.

  


Kikyou was surprised to hear herself chuckle in return to her little sister's question, "My job is dangerous, Kaede," A half smile graced her face, "I was attacked by a youkai."

  


"Really? They normally don't get that close to you Onee-sama," Kaede said, her face both curious and worried as she grabbed Kikyou's hand for the walk back to the village proper.

  


A sad smile crossed Kikyou's face, this one more so then most, "No Kaede, they normally don't get that close to me at all."

  


"Was it really, really strong, Onee-sama?" Kaede asked, her eyes wide.

  


_No, not at all,_ Kikyou thought, _After all, it's only my heart he holds in his hands._ She simply smiled down at Kaede and answered, "Betsuni."

  


Kaede looked up at Kikyou and smiled. Kikyou knew that Kaede considered her to be indestructible.

  


"I'm glad, Onee-sama," Kaede said, "Nothing can hurt you, ne?"

  


"Eh," The simple answer ended the conversation as they reached the shrine. Kikyou gladly removed the shikon jewel from around her neck and walked slowly inside, leaving Kaede outside waiting patiently for her elder sister, just as she always did. Kikyou then slowly placed the jewel on the special holder that had been built for it.

  


Kikyou stepped away from the jewel for a moment, taking deep breaths in order to calm herself. Then, unable to control herself anymore, she fell to the floor, shaking, her body racked with sobs. On the cold floor Kikyou cried, alone.

  


She mourned the loss of many things in front of the dias that damned jewel rested on, as if nothing more than an innocent trinket. She mourned the loss of her virtue, the loss of her composure, the loss of everything she had thought herself to be. As her tears flowed freely the only thing that she saw was _his_ face. Inu Yasha's face smiling, Inu Yasha's face flushed with passion, Inu Yasha's face taking pleasure in what she had freely given.

  


Kikyou pushed herself to her knees, her head down cast, her hands balled into fists as she started to shake with anger instead of sorrow. Not towards Inu Yasha, the man she laved so dearly could do nothing wrong, no, her anger stabbed deep into her own heart and towards the shining jewel that seemed to be laughing at her.

  


Tears still flowed and stained her face as Kikyou stared at the jewel with an animosity she wasn't even aware she possessed, "Damn you," She hissed through clenched teeth, her volatile emotions having run the gauntlet to full fledged rage, "I never wanted any part of this! Damn you!"

  


The jewel didn't respond. It didn't have to, the light that danced around it did that for it. It seemed to laugh even louder, delighting in the misery so apparent in the woman before it who painted such a ludicrous picture of a miko, her robes tattered around her body, her face stained with tears and twisted with anger and self loathing.

  


"I DIDN'T WANT THIS!!"

  


* * *

  


Outside of the shrine Kaede sat waiting for her sister, her feet swinging over the stairs as she hummed a simple tune to herself. Inside the shrine she assumed her sister prayed, peacefully just as always. After all, Kikyou-onee-sama wouldn't allow herself to be hurt by anything or any one. Kaede looked up at the sky and smiled. Spring was coming.

  


* * ^-^ * *

  
  



	4. The Man in the Cave

Memories of the Bell Flower

Chapter 4: The Man in the Cave

by Sephira jo (email: sephirajo@yahoo.com)

  


Rating R: For adult situations, violence, language and other wonderful things. Remember to take the rating SERIOUSLY. Its R for a reason people!

  


Author's notes:

Bwahahahah! I got my first flames from a stupid person!! Hello Hate and Flaming Time. . .I know you're the same person, its almost amusing how you tried to be two, also read these author's notes please, I fully explain this fic in the FIRST author's note. I'm not going to do it here again. . .so there. :P

  


Thanks to my reviewers! I'm so glad you've all enjoyed this one. . .I just had to keep writing. ^-^ I apologize. . .not that I'm sorry. :} Enjoy chapter 4!

  


* * *

  


Over the next two weeks Spring slowly overcame the small village and surrounding area. Two weeks without the sight of either hide nor hair of Inu Yasha. The heart that had blossomed under a light evening snow quickly withered in the warmth that accompanied the budding season. Kikyou's life moved forward slowly and skipped, an out of tune song in the hands of someone else, an instrument played by one who had no skill of coaxing music from it.

  


The only relieved breath to escape her in those two torturous weeks was when, at the end of the first week, her cycle came and went, confirming that she was not with child. Villagers came and went, bothering her about various things: a sick child, an imagined aliment, a suspected haunting. If any one noticed that her efforts were half-hearted, they didn't say anything. And that suited Kikyou just fine.

  


Kikyou spent as much time as possible by herself in the wilderness. She almost thought, that in its own way, it brought her closer to Inu Yasha, whom she missed so much that it left a part of her hollow. His disappearance wasn't uncommon, he often would be around for a day or two, then take off for the better part of a month, leaving her alone.

  


She had hoped, in vain it seemed, that after what they had shared together that the usual would not be the case this time. There was no denying that she took her woodland jaunts hoping, no needing, to catch a glimpse of red, a flash of silver.

  


Kikyou leaned back against Goshinboku, the great tree so near the shrine and stared up toward the sky. The sunlight trickled through the new spring leaves making them shine as a small breeze brought them to life with motion. Even her depression that had been brought on by the spring season couldn't overtake her here. Kikyou smiled softly, this tree, this place was special to her. It was close enough to the village that it wasn't really running away, but far enough that she could enjoy a relative amount of peace and solitude.

  


_When Inu Yasha comes back, _she thought playfully, _I'm going to tie him to this tree. That way he'll always be here when I want him._ The impish thought was so out of character for her that she almost laughed aloud. Even more amusing was the thought of Inu Yasha's reaction to being tied to the giant tree. She could almost see his face flushed from yelling and swearing at the top of his lungs, then changing to the passionate expression she had memorized in their short lived retreat from their shared worries of the world.

  


"Onee-sama!" Kaede's voice snapped Kikyou out of her thoughts and she looked up to see her little sister running towards her. Kaede's face was worried, and from the heavy puffs of breath coming from the young girl it was obvious she had run a long way.

  


"Onee-sama" Kaede skid to a stop right in front of Kikyou and grabbed at her sleeves, tugging, "You have to come quickly!"

  


Kikyou calmly rose to her feet and looked down at Kaede, smiling softly, "What is it, Kaede?"

  


"I was out picking herbs and there's something weird in one of the old caves there. I thought I heard a youkai, or something like that, so please hurry Onee-sama!" Kaede took a deep breath and tugged on Kikyou's sleeve again, "Hurry!"

  


"Kaede," Kikyou said calmly, picking up her bow and quiver, "What were you doing that far away from the village picking herbs by yourself?"

  


Kaede stared sheepishly at the ground, her feet digging into the fresh spring grass, "Well, um, you don't come with me to look for herbs anymore Onee-sama, so I, uh, went to look for some, because I checked your stores and we're running a little low. . ."

  


Kikyou placed her hand on Kaede's hair, smiling sadly. In the past couple of week she and Kaede hadn't gone out on their normal herb gathering trips. Kikyou's thoughts had been elsewhere. Always trust a little sister to remind you of things more important than mopping about waiting for a wandering lover.

  


"I'm sorry Kaede," Kikyou said softly, "My thoughts have been somewhere else as of late, you and I will go out later for herbs, I promise. Now, take me to this horrible monster in the cave," Kikyou spoke the last part purely as a jest, hoping to coax a smile from her little sister. The ploy worked. Kaede smiled proudly, glad to be preforming such a task for her sister. Kikyou smiled to herself as she followed Kaede out of the woods and village to the cave.

  


* * *

  


They reached the cave in question quickly, Kaede having led the way as fast as her small legs could carry her. Indeed there was noise coming from the cave, and as they approached, Kikyou drew an arrow and readied it. A silent commanding glance at kaede ordered her to stay back and stay quiet. Although Kikyou couldn't really sense a youkai in the cave that meant nothing. Some youkai excelled at concealing their auras so even humans with the ability to sense them would be blind to their comings and goings. The sickly sweet smell of burnt flesh added to her caution, for if it was a youkai, and a feeding one at that, she would be in for a tough fight.

  


Slowly Kikyou walked toward the cave, her muscles taught, ready to spring into action at any moment. As her eyes focused on what lay within the cave, she lowered her bow and sprang into another type of action.

  


A man lay at the foot of the cave, his body badly burnt. No part seemed untouched by the ravages of fire and it appeared that he had been dressed in rags and dumped there to die. The sounds she and heard had been nothing more then the labored breathing of this man, amplified by the cave walls. _Good gods, _Kikyou thought, _he's still alive. . . after being burned that badly and left here to die. He must have a strong spirt._

  


Kikyou, now sure that no real danger lay in wait, dropped her bow completely and ran to the man, turning him to lie face up. He stared up at her with one good eye, the other eye apparently a casualty of the fire that had seared his body. Kikyou shook her head, whispering confused wonderment underneath her breath.

  


Turning her face to the mouth of the cave, Kikyou called for her little sister, "Kaede, come here quickly!"

  


Kaede obeyed, her small form almost appearing out of nowhere next to her older sister. Kaede looked at the man, then covered her small mouth with her hands, a shocked gasp escaping her. In her young life she had never seen anything so awful, and Kikyou felt bad having to expose her sister to it. But Kaede had expressed interest in life as a healer, so she should get accustomed to seeing people in states as bad as this.

  


"Kaede, I need you to go back to the village and bring me water, rags and my healing herbs. I need you to go quickly!"

  


"Hai, Onee-sama!" Kaede squeaked, obviously still upset at the sight of the man, she turned around and ran quickly back toward The village.

  


With Kaede fetching medical supplies, Kikyou turned her attention back to the man at her feet. She lifted him by his shoulders, no small task as he seemed to be all dead weight, and pulled him away from the foot of the cave, taking him deeper inside, giving him protection from the elements that he had been lacking.

  


It was obvious when Kikyou moved him that his back had been broken, and he would never be able to walk again. Kikyou felt pity stab at her heart. The least she could do was make him comfortable for the rest of his life, which, judging by the severity of his wounds, wouldn't be long.

  


"Who. . ." The voice was harsh, rasping. Kikyou looked down in shock only to confirm that it was he who had spoken.

  


Kikyou shook her head, "Don't speak, you need to save your strength. Don't worry, my sister and I will take care of you." Kikyou finished as she moved to build a small fire pit that would be used as soon as Kaede returned with the water and supplies.

  


"Who. . ." He asked again and Kikyou glanced over at him to find him staring at her, the feeling unsettling, his stare had something more than mild curiosity in it.

  


She looked at him and kept her expression stoic, "I am Kikyou," she answered simply.

  


The answer seemed to satisfy him and he looked away from her, staring up at The cave's ceiling, his breathing heavy.

  


"Onee-sama! I'm back, and I have your things!!" Kaede's voice rang out in The small cave, and she ran inside, her small body burdened by two large packs and two buckets of water. Kikyou smiled at her little sister, Kaede never did anything half way; she had brought Kikyou's whole pharmacy with her.

  


"Bring them here quickly," Kikyou said and motioned for Kaede to come closer, "And I need you to start a fire right there, then mix the willow bark with some hot water," Kikyou said as Kaede handed her the packs then ran off to quickly find some fire wood.

  


Kikyou took one of the buckets of water and a clean rag and began to clean the man's body, slowly working The dirt and grime out of the burned flesh. Kaede ran back into the cave, almost tripping in her effort to do things as quickly as possible and dropped the wood in the fire pit. A few minutes later a fire was going, and Kaede had set up what she needed to heat the medicinal mixture.

  


As Kaede sat grinding the willow bark and Kikyou cleaned the body of the man, she could feel his gaze on her the whole time, staring at her in a way that made her feel like just being near this man was making her dirty.

  


Kaede handed Kikyou the finished mixture of willow bark and hot water, mixed with some tea leaves to make it go down easier. Propping his head up with one hand she held the mixture to his mouth.

  


"Drink this," She said simply, not wanting to talk to this man more than she had to, "It will ease your pain."

  


He drank it slowly, his stare fixed on her the whole time. Kikyou couldn't repress a shudder.

  


* * *

  


Over the next few days the man recovered the best he could, which Kikyou considered another testament to his spirt. Unfortunately with his recoveries came his voice, back in full. Some of the things he said to her made Kikyou wish that his voice had been taken by the fire that had nearly claimed his life.

  


He called himself Onigumo, the spider demon, a lofty, self-given title which he still clung to, despite the fact that he would never again leave the cave. He enjoyed tormenting Kikyou with stories of his life as a bandit and outlaw, delighting in the fact that she kept her face impassive through stories of rape, murder and robbery. If it wasn't for the fact that Kikyou pitied his present state she would have left him there to rot.

  


She was kneeling over a pot in the cave making some soup, the only food he could really eat. The whole time she entertained thoughts of shoving her cooking spoon down his throat to shut him up permanently.

  


Onigumo chuckled, as if he could hear her what she was thinking. The whole situation rubbed Kikyou the wrong way, but it was part of her duty as a miko to care for the sick and injured, and Onigumo was both. In more ways than one.

  


"So, is it true?" He asked, Kikyou looked up, she hadn't even heard the question.

  


"Is what true?" She asked, keeping her voice even and emotionless.

  


"There are rumors, that a young priestess named Kikyou was given a powerful artifact to guard. You are named Kikyou, and you area priestess, so is it true?"

  


Kikyou started for a split second at his astute question, but it didn't really surprise her. The Shikon jewel would be considered quite a prize by many dark hearted men, even though the jewel really did nothing for humans. She didn't answer however, she seldom found a reason to say anything to him.

  


He chuckled again, god how she hated that sound! "I thought so," He said after a moment, "The Shikon no Tama," he breathed, his voice seemed reverent, laced with desire, "I want to see it."

  


"You can't," Kikyou said flatly, pouring the finished soup into a bowl she moved to face him.

  


"Why not, is it invisible?" He said sarcastically.

  


"No, I have no intention of brining it here to you, and you will never leave this cave again. In fact, despite your great recovery, I doubt you will survive the year," Kikyou said, letting a small amount of ire seep into her normally composed voice.

  


Another chuckle, "You're blushing," He stated simply, "I wonder what you would look like naked and blushing beneath me."

  


Kikyou's eyes widened, she was sure she hadn't heard the last part right. "What was that?" She asked, keeping her voice as flat as possible.

  


"You heard me," Onigumo said dryly, "I may be burned and stuck in this damned cave, but I still have my manhood. And I want you." The words were spoken like a cold fact, with none of the loving emotion that Inu Yasha had put behind them. Onigumo's words were the words of a rapist and murder spoken in a cold and calculated way. Kikyou was suddenly very glad that Onigumo would never walk again. She had no doubt in her mind at all that if he was mobile that she would be little more than a target, to be used as an outlet for lust.

  


Kikyou didn't answer him, and that seemed to amuse him. She fed him and he ate quietly for which Kikyou was grateful. After he finished Kikyou worked at changing the few bandages that needed it. She nearly throttled him when he spoke up again.

  


"You have a lover," It wasn't a question so much as it was a statement of fact. Unbidden, Kikyou thought of Inu Yasha and a slight flush stained her cheeks.

  


"I have no husband," Kikyou said simply, hoping that would end the conversation.

  


"But you have a lover," Onigumo said dryly, "Your reaction proves it. So who is it? A farmer? A samurai? A pompous young lord perhaps?"

  


Kikyou gave him a scathing look that silenced him for a moment before he started to laugh. Kikyou gathered her things and got ready to leave. As she stood at the mouth of the cave she was stopped once more by the sound of Onigumo's voice.

  


"You don't do your reputation justice at all, Kikyou. I expected a great and powerful miko and instead there's just a weak woman with a great name."

  


Kikyou gazed down at the man who spoke and answered his taunt coldly, "A very astute observation from a man who will never again see the world outside this cave. Goodbye, Onigumo."

  


As Kikyou walked away from the cave she heard that laugh she hated so echoing in the small cave, making it sound like a monster did indeed dwell within. Kikyou shuddered, suddenly very glad to be heading home to the village, even that prison was better than spending another minute with that man.

  


* * *

  


Kaede entered the cave the next morning to find Onigumo still sleeping. She let out a quiet breath, relieved. Kikyou had asked Kaede to make the trip in her stead for The next couple of days. Apparently the wounded bandit had worn her sister's patience thin, a feat few could accomplish. As far as Kaede knew, there was only one other man who weighed on her sister's mind so, but that was a different story entirely.

  


Kaede crept next to the sleeping man and as quietly as she could, started a small fire. In the light of the small flame she sorted through the medicines she had brought with her, going over which was used for what. Kaede had a love of healing, another reason she came in her sister's stead, although she had initially been grossed out by Onigumo's monestrous looks she knew that if she became a healer she would see much, much worse.

  


Kaede happily hummed a tune to herself as she mixed some medicines in with his breakfast, something that had been her Onee-sama's idea. A pain killer, a sedative and other various herbs went into the soup. She was so engrossed in what she was doing that she jumped at the voice that spoke up beside her.

  


"Girl, where's your sister?" Onigumo asked.

  


"Onee-sama had other things to do today, so I told her I'd come here." Kaede said simply, then added, "I hope you like the soup I'm making."

  


Onigumo snorted, then said, "Girl, your sister's a weak coward. Did you know that?"

  


Kaede stopped humming and just stared at the bandaged bandit, her jaw hung open in shock.

  


"You take that back!" Kaede shouted. How dare he call her Onee-sama a weak coward!

  


Onigumo laughed, "It's true, she's running scared right now."

  


"Onee-sama's not afraid of anything!" Kaede retorted, suddenly it seemed like more of a chore to be here then she thought it would be.

  


"Oh no, she's afraid right now, scared that her dirty little secret will get out."

  


Kaede glared at Onigumo, "Onee-sama doesn't have a 'dirty little secret'! She's not here because she had other stuff to do." Kaede finished, then turned her attention back to the soup. Glancing over at Onigumo to be certain he wasn't watching, Kaede poured a lot of extra sedative into the mix, hoping to knock him out after the first sip so she could get out of there.

  


"Oh really?" Onigumo said, "Tell me, isn't there a man your sister's been interested in recently?"

  


Kaede blushed, how did he know that?! She had only found out recently and only because Kikyou had a tendency to talk in her sleep. Kaede had only worked up the courage to ask her sister about it a couple days ago, and since Kikyou _never_ lied she had told Kaede most of what was going on. Kaede had the feeling that Kikyou didn't tell her everything, but her sister deserved some privacy and Kaede gladly gave it.

  


Onigumo just chuckled, "So girl, who is he?"

  


"Why do _you _want to know?" Kaede asked harshly, staring at him fiercely.

  


"The soup's boiling over."

  


Kaede turned around to see that he was right. In a panic she dived for it, almost spilling it on the ground. She somehow managed to pour the boiling mixture into a bowl without scalding herself too badly.

  


"Tell me girl, who is he?" Onigumo asked again, as Kaede blew on the soup, desperately trying to cool it down enough to feed him.

  


"No," Kaede said, looking over at him and sticking out her tongue. She brought the bowl over next to him and got ready to feed him his breakfast.

  


"Tell me and I won't tell your dear older sister that your trying to poison me."

  


Kaede started at him dumbly, how could he have known about the extra sedative? He just laughed which only made Kaede angry.

  


Kaede stood up and poured the hot soup all over Onigumo, who made a sound somewhere between a strangled gasp and a shout, then stamping to the mouth of the cave she turned back to him and shouted, "His name's Inu Yasha and he'll tear you apart you big. . .you big ass!!"

  


* * *

  


Kikyou swam in the cool spring enjoying the feel of the water on her skin and enjoying a day without having to deal with Onigumo. After he had shown up, the little things the villagers asked of her didn't seem so bad anymore, anything was better then dealing with that man. She felt bad pawning him off on Kaede like that, but her little sister was so eager to try out her healing skills that she'd put up with anything.

  


Their sparing match the night before had left her shaken, that man was way to observant and he had an uncanny knack for putting things together. She sent up a prayer of thanks to whoever had the foresight to wound him in such a way and keep him away from all The innocent people he could hurt were he free to do so.

  


As she swam in the spring, Kikyou thoughts moved away from Onigumo to the more pleasant subject of Inu Yasha. The last couple of days she had wanted him there with her, she needed him. Kikyou needed his touch, she needed the passion he had given her so much that it almost drove her insane. Kikyou wasn't quite sure what was wrong with her but the empty feeling gnawed at her.

  


Kikyou dunked under the surface of the water, then came up shaking her hair in the morning light. Feeling refreshed she opened her eyes and stretched, stopping in mid motion at the sight of the man who stood near the water's edge. She was so shocked that it took her a moment to register who it was.

  


Inu Yasha stood there, just staring at her, his face flushed. Kikyou sprang out of the water and threw her arms around him, completely oblivious to the fact that she was still undressed. She held him tightly, almost afraid that if she let go he would disappear. 

  


"Where were you?" She asked, her voice trembling as she felt tears spring to her eyes, "I missed you. . .so much."

  


Inu Yasha hugged her back, his embrace impossibly tight, "You missed me?" He asked, as if somehow didn't believe the statement, "I heard you, in the shine I mean, I thought you were mad at me. . . "

  


Kikyou laughed, only to have it choked by a sob. She shook her head, "Stupid, I wasn't mad at you, I could never be mad at you. . ." Kikyou broke the embrace and just smiled up at him, "I guess we have some things we need to talk about," She said, a simple smile on her face.

  


Inu Yasha just nodded tensely, as if he was trying very hard to stop himself from doing something.

Kikyou smiled, and dressed herself then taking Inu Yasha by the hand she lead him as told him what he had really heard that day, and she watched as his face softened and he seemed relieved somehow.

  


"We're almost to the village," He said, and Kikyou started, realizing that he was right. They were standing in the shade of Goshinboku, closer to the village then she had ever managed to get Inu Yasha before.

  


Kikyou leaned back against the ancient tree, smiling sadly, "I don't suppose I could get you to come to the village with me?" She asked, already knowing the answer.

  


Inu Yasha shook his head, and Kikyou sighed. She looked up at him to find him staring at her again, a strange, hungry look in his golden eyes.

  


"You're beautiful," he whispered, and then Kikyou couldn't take it anymore. She jumped him, kissing him passionately venting weeks of frustration and loneliness as she pressed her body close to his.

  


He responded fiercely, ravaging her mouth with his tongue, nipping at her lips with his fangs. When he pulled away Kikyou moaned disappointedly and she tugged on his hair, trying to draw him close to her again.

  


"We can't do this today, Kikyou," Inu Yasha whispered in her ear, his body telling a different story than his words as he pressed even harder into her, pinning her to Goshinboku. 

  


"Why not?" Kikyou asked breathlessly. She felt light headed, the whole morning the only thing she had been able to think about was him, was this, and now he was telling her that they couldn't?

  


"We just can't. . . " He began, then Kikyou pressed her mouth to his and he responded again, this time slipping his hand in her robe to caress her breasts, causing Kikyou to gasp and moan softly.

  


Inu Yasha managed to pull away from her once more and held on to his control long enough to say one more thing, "Damnit woman, don't you care about what could happen!?"

  


Kikyou just laughed, having him with her right now after so long she couldn't think straight, "Not when I'm with you," she answered, slipping her hands under his kimono to touch the hot flesh there. The whole situation seemed dreamlike to Kikyou as she pulled him closer to her, kissing him as deeply as she could.

  


The last strands of their mutual control snapped. And there, pinned up against Goshinboku he claimed her a third time. He seemed somehow more feral then before, as if driven by instinct, love and a wild, untamed desire. As he thrust into her, he silenced her impassioned cries with his mouth. When he finished, he roared. 

  


* * ^-^ * * 

  



	5. Hubristic Tendencies

  


Memories of the Bell Flower

Chapter 5: Hubristic Tendencies

  


By Sephira jo (sephirajo@yahoo.com) 

  


Disclaimer: I don't own Inu Yasha but, by god, I wish I did.

  


P.S. This fic was posted a day before I remembered to add the disclaimer, and no one reviewed :( *sobs* don't you guys like this chapter?? Please let me know *sniffle*

  


Rating: R, for adult situations (namely sex), Violence, and more angst than you can shake a stick at. This is not a happy story, people!

  


Warning! The first little part of this story has a kinda/sorta rape scene in it. How can it be kinda/sorta you ask? Well, you'll see when you finish it, but just warning you! You can't say I didn't warn you now!

  


Author's notes. As your reading this, I've revised the previous four chapters of this story, so it might be a good idea to go back and read those as well. Hopefully all the revisions are for the better. Mostly just fixed simple junk, like the typos I have a tendency to make at 3:00 in the morning. Some side notes too, for those of you who don't know this story is just going to get more and more angst filled. 

  


Also a quick note on the title, hubristic is derived from the word hubris, which is excessive pride that brings about a downfall, normally at the hands of the gods. (If you already know this, just blithely ignore me. Just thought I'd say in case anyone didn't know. ^-^) This works well as a title since the hubris of everyone involved plays a part in the downfall of the characters. Kikyou's convinced she can plan everything perfectly, Kaede's convinced that her sister is great and invincible and Inu Yasha's just convinced that he's great (and he's getting nookie -_-;;;). The only person not overly stuffed to the gills with excessive amounts of hubris is Onigumo, who's lying in wait like a Machiavellian Spider, getting ready to pounce on the opportunity about to present itself. There, I've played enough Greek Chorus for now, so on with this tale of woe (and nookie lol, I couldn't help myself! Gomen!) (AN: why is it I can just picture Inu Yasha singing "I did it all for the Nookie." ?)

  
  
  


* * ^_^ * *

  


Kikyou found herself in Onigumo's cave. She looked around, not sure at first how she came to be there. After all, she had almost completely handed him off to Kaede and she only came here occasionally, just to make sure he was still alive. But something seemed different about this place. Kikyou's vision was hazy, and she walked forward hoping to clarify what she was seeing. When she came to the place where Onigumo's immobile form should've lain on a straw mat there was only a massive burn scar. 

  


Kikyou knelt to the ground and touched the dirt, not believing what she was seeing. She drew back in pain when the evil aura that permeated through the earth stung her. The haze around her thickened until it became a thick fog calling her farther into the cave.

  


"Kikyou . . . " She heard her name echo off of the walls drawing her farther into the cave.

  


"Kikyou . . . " She followed it still, the cave went deeper than she would have suspected. She looked back toward the entrance to see it had disappeared. Kikyou was suddenly afraid as a cold wind blew hard and drawing her even further into the cave.

  


"Kikyou. . ." She followed the dark voice to see where it came from. She stopped when the form of a man came into focus, out of the fog that moved around her. Dark hair moved around him caught on the wind that circled about them and his eyes, his eyes were fixated on her body, glowing crimson. An evil grin spread across his face and he moved toward her, the malevolence palpable.

  


Kikyou took a nervous step backward before remembering herself. She was miko, she would not run nor hide from whatever apparition this was. Steeling herself for battle, she reached for an arrow to fire, only to find her quiver empty. Kikyou stared in horror as her bow also dissolved into nothingness. She looked up at the man, who was now only a few steps away from her. He just laughed. The laugh sounded oddly familiar to Kikyou, but in her state of mind she couldn't place it.

  


The man reached out and grabbed her, throwing her to the floor and then pinning her there with his weight. Kikyou struggled against him, trying to recall spells, charms, anything she could use to repel him. A simple one came to mind and she opened her mouth to recite it, only to have a gag shoved in before a single sound could escape her mouth.

  


Kikyou screamed as his hands, rough and uncaring, began to tear away her clothing. The sounds she made were muffled and distorted by the rag in her mouth. She reached up to hit and claw at her attacker, who used the feeble attacks to grasp her hands and tie them up with a piece of her own torn clothing.

  


Kikyou found herself staring into blood red eyes as he took her like an animal on the floor of the cave. 

  


"Kikyou . . . " He said, only then did she realize that it had been his voice calling her back into the cave. He laughed again and she screamed.

  


* * *

  


Kikyou bolted upright in her bed, her hands instinctively covering her mouth as her stomach turned. Being as quiet as possible to avoid waking Kaede who slept close to her, she went outside emptying her stomach into a small bucket that they kept next to their dwelling.

  


This was the third day in a row Kikyou had awoken from nightmares only to be sick. She held onto herself shaking, she had suspicions as to what exactly was causing her recurring illness but she kept her fears to herself. Fears. That was putting it mildly, Kikyou was absolutely terrified! There was no one she could turn to. After all, _she_ was the miko, normally it was _her _doing the consoling.

  


Shaking she leaned against the wall of her small hut. Over the horizon the first glimpses of sunlight could be seen. It was already morning, and Kikyou felt as if she hadn't slept at all. She sighed, as long as it was already morning there was really no point in going back to sleep. She emptied the evidence of her illness into a nearby bush and went back inside to dress herself. There were things she had to do this morning, and in the afternoon she had arranged a meeting with Inu Yasha.

  


That thought made her stop, and she let a half-smile come to her face for a moment before she shook it away. Her duties as a miko came first. As she finished dressing and worked her hair back into the loose ponytail she wore she tried, unsuccessfully, to push all wayward thoughts of the hanyou from her mind. Instead of lifting her thoughts, it now seemed that he weighed upon them instead. Kikyou found herself unable to concentrate on anything related to her duty.

  


Involuntarily, she thought again of the nightmare. In life such an attack would have been a simple thing to fend off; however, as of late Kikyou felt like her powers were slipping away from her. She didn't enjoy the sensation one bit. She hated feeling powerless. In her world, being powerless could be fatal. Kikyou went over the images of the nightmare, trying to make sense of them, to learn something from them, but the only thing she could get from it was that it was nothing more than a manifestation of her most recent fears. 

  


She shook her head, clearing out any lingering doubts about the nightmare and standing at the door she smiled down at the sleeping Kaede before slipping on her normal, impassive expression. Steeled to face another lonely day the best she could, Kikyou left her hut and headed to the shrine where the Shikon jewel rested day in and day out intent on being the ruling force in her life.

  


Walking toward the shrine, Kikyou felt the morning dew brush against her feet, making them cold in the cool spring morning. The sensation brought back memories of the morning after she had given herself to Inu Yasha the first time. Kikyou stopped, blushing furiously she shook her head to clear her thoughts, angry that even a little thing like that could break her concentration. She walked the rest of the way to the shrine with her hands balled so tightly into fists that her nails dug into her skin. The pain helped ground Kikyou, pulling her thoughts away from other things.

  


Kikyou reached the shrine and she almost tore open the door on the building before she managed to calm herself down enough to start the task at hand. Looking up she stared at the Shikon jewel as it sat on its dais, glowing in its unearthly way. Kikyou sat down on her knees in front of it, and took it off of the stand.

  


Rolling the jewel between her fingers, she tried to find the spot where she had left off the day before. She found it. Closing one hand around the jewel and bringing it to her breast, she took a deep breath and picked up where she had left off yesterday, purifying the jewel.

  


Purifying the jewel was a slow and tedious process. It had been massively tainted by pervious youkai owners who had brought out the evil side of the jewel while burying the good. As it was now, there was very little good left in the Shikon no Tama, which made Kikyou's job harder.

  


The amount she had actually been able to purify was minuscule. The jewel was so tainted when she had received that the very touch of it had burned. Even with her gift for purifying such things it had taken months before she had been able to hold the jewel without pain. And recently it seemed even harder to concentrate on the jewel when her thoughts were constantly elsewhere.

  
  


Hating the damn rock made it that much harder to sit there morning after morning and purify it, the only thing that kept her sane was knowing that when her job was done she would be free. _Now,_ she thought, _if only there was a way to do it all at once. To make it disappear._

  


Kikyou stopped, her eyes shot open as she thought of Inu Yasha, the hanyou. Hanyou. _How could I have been so stupid?!_ Kikyou thought, as a lighting bolt of inspiration struck her. _Half youkai means half human! The jewel could enhance either making him a full youkai or a full . . . a full human! And making him a full human would purify the jewel. ALL AT ONCE!_

  


Kikyou smiled and almost laughed. For the first time she didn't hate the jewel in her hand. In fact, she could almost kiss the damn rock. If Inu Yasha would use it to be human causing it to disappear, she would be free. And then they could be together. Never having to be lonely again.

  


Kikyou's thoughts were interrupted by a strong wave of nausea. Clamping her free hand over her mouth, she was able to fight it down. She coughed quietly, trying to clear her throat without vomiting, and placed the jewel back on its holder. Leaving the shrine, closing the door behind her, Kikyou went in search of a light breakfast to calm her stomach and started working over the fine details of her newly hatched plan.

  


* * *

  


Kaede woke to find her sister had already gone. Though not a rarity in itself, Kikyou had been sick for the past few days and Kaede was worried. The last thing she wanted was to lose her sister, the only family she had left.

  


Kaede shook her head and banished her dark thoughts. _I have to be cheerful!_ Kaede thought to herself, smiling despite her deep worry for her older sister. _Onee-sama is surrounded by too many sad and dark things. Someone has to cheer her up._ Kaede giggled, she knew she wasn't the only one who made her sister happy anymore. There was Inu Yasha now as well. Kaede hadn't met him yet, but the thought of meeting someone great enough to earn her sister's love had her twitching with anticipation.

  


Come to think of it, Kikyou hadn't told Kaede much about Inu Yasha at all, only his name and that he was very nice. That left Kaede unbearably curious as to _who_ he was exactly. The thought of Kikyou with a samurai or a lord somewhere made Kaede laugh uncontrollably. Any of the local farmers were out of the question, and Kikyou didn't get close to the villagers. There was a traveling Buddhist monk (what _was_ his name) who had gained a reputation for both great spiritual power and a over zealous fondness for women. What was the word Kikyou had used? Lecher . . . Kaede dismissed that idea on fact that lecher didn't sound like a word you used to describe someone you loved.

  


Not knowing when Kikyou would return Kaede started to gather her small stash of healing herbs and food to take out to Onigumo. More than likely _she_ would be making the trip out to the cave today. Kikyou now only went occasionally and every time her older sister made the trip, she returned in a foul temper. Kaede knew that the past week Kikyou spent more time out by herself and Kaede suspected that she was spending the time with Inu Yasha. 

  


Kaede let out an overly large sigh, if she didn't have to feed stupid Onigumo stupid herbs so he wouldn't lose his stupid life to starvation, she could follow Kikyou to meet this Inu Yasha. She liked everything she had heard about him from Kikyou and at least his name wasn't stupid, like Onigumo's. With a name like Inu Yasha he had to be a warrior of some sort. Kaede sighed again, this time for a different reason, it was so romantic! Her wandering sister falling in love with a wandering fighter. Kaede wanted to meet him so badly.

  


Kaede stood up, her pack full. Humming and convinced that not even Onigumo could ruin her good mood, she walked outside letting the warm spring sunshine wash over her. Kaede hummed her song and, entertaining fantasies of what Inu Yasha must look like, she set off toward the cave.

* * *

  


All of her morning duties finished to some degree of satisfaction, Kikyou happily wrapped up a few loose ends then snuck out of the village. She couldn't deny that the blatant disregard of her duties as a miko made her feel guilty, but the part of her that was still just a young woman always enjoyed these moments when she was able to escape the tedium of her village life. Even if it was only for a short amount of time.

  


Kikyou found it odd however, that even going to visit Inu Yasha that she found reason to carry her weapon with her. It seemed wrong somehow, going to visit a lover armed. She shook her head, unlike Kaede, Kikyou had no illusions about the safety of the world in which she lived. And even though it bothered her, there really was nothing wrong with traveling prepared. Besides, she still hadn't completely gotten over her nightmare. The images of the dream provided her with plenty of reasons to go someplace armed. Kikyou's dreams often were precognitive and she didn't want to risk that the nightmare could be as well.

  


As she walked further away the village Kikyou went over the minor details of her fledgling plan. The only possible problem she could foresee was actually getting the jewel to Inu Yasha, who, most likely, would not be willing to go any where near the village for any reason. So, getting Inu Yasha in the shrine to use the jewel was definitely not a possibility. Kikyou paused in mid step, most likely she would have to arrange a meeting place for the two of them, a place where she could take the jewel, a place where it could be used safely and uninterrupted by others.

  


Kikyou smiled and shook her head, it was really a minor problem. Their meetings had remained completely private thus far. Inu Yasha talked to no one else in the area other than her, and Kikyou seldom found a reason to discuss things with the villagers. Kaede was a different matter, but Kikyou wouldn't say anything until _after _the fact. If then. Kikyou really found no reason to enlighten Kaede as to the exact nature of Inu Yasha, most likely Kaede would be livid. And, after Inu Yasha was human, there would be no reason to burden Kaede with his true nature. Right now, Kaede was content to entertain her girlish fantasies of what Inu Yasha must be like.

  


Kikyou shook her head, it had taken hours of explaining and consoling before Kikyou had been able to calm Kaede after she had deduced what was going on. Kaede had been absolutely terrified of Kikyou just taking off and leaving. Kikyou had to sit Kaede down and explain to her that she was not going to, for anyone or thing, leave Kaede alone. And yes, when Kikyou started a family, Kaede would most defiantly be a part of it. Eventually her younger sister had calmed down, and then, amusingly enough, developed a childish obsession with Inu Yasha and spent the next hour grilling Kikyou for details about him. It would've been funny, except for the fact that Kikyou didn't feel comfortable discussing her relationship with anyone, even her sister. Part of it just seemed wrong somehow, it was really an impossible relationship and even more impossible to explain to a girl less than twelve years of age.

  


Kikyou reached the field where Inu Yasha had agreed to meet her that day and looked around. It was devoid of anyone else, but then again, Kikyou was almost always early. Smiling, knowing that Inu Yasha would be there soon, indeed he had a tendency to be late, Kikyou laid down in the tall grass and watched the sky lazily. When her eyes started to fall closed she couldn't fight it, she was still tired from three nights of little sleep. In the warm spring sunlight Kikyou slept in the open filed, the laughter of children singing through her dreams.

  


* * *

  


Kaede peaked into the entrance of the cave and held her breath. She released it in a disappointed sigh when the labored sound of Onigumo's breathing reached her ears. _Damn it,_ she thought, _that stupid ass is STILL alive. Why doesn't he just die?_ Kaede drew in a deep breath which puffed out her cheeks making her look more like a frog then a small girl. As long as Onigumo was alive, Kaede had to go in there and deal with him, she had promised Kikyou. But, if she couldn't kill him (after all, that would be wrong) she could be so annoying that we would wish he was dead. Maybe then he'd give up on his own.

  


"GOOOOOOOOD MORNING!!!!!!!!!" Kaede screeched at the top of her lungs. She suppressed a giggle when she heard Onigumo flinch, the straw mat underneath him scratching the floor in protest.

  


Kaede walked into the cave and started a fire in the small pit. She looked over at Onigumo and put her best 'I'm an innocent child who could never do anything wrong' smile on her face. Onigumo just glared at her with his one good eye.

  


"Girl, where's your sister?" He asked, and Kaede shook her head, he did this every time she showed up to take care of him.

  


"She's busy today. And I've told you, my name is Kaede."

  


Over the pervious few days Kaede felt she had excelled at ignoring Onigumo's taunts and cold remarks, indeed she found she could actually treat him as a patient and not a jackass. He still managed to get on her nerves and his refusal to call her by name really bugged her. His constant questioning about Kikyou's life and habits also bothered her, as did his habit of insulting her sister when she refused to answer.

  


"She's busy, eh? Isn't it wrong for a shrine _maiden_ to be running around with a lover?" Onigumo taunted.

  


"Onee-sama doesn't have a lover, I've told you." Kaede returned simply. Stirring some herbs into the soup she was preparing to feed him. 

  


"Really? I know she does. Doesn't it bother you, girl? When she takes off with him, you'll be all alone." The bite he put in his voice didn't go unnoticed and Kaede shook her head. She wouldn't let herself be baited by this man.

  


"You're so stupid. It won't be that way, she promised me. When he's ready he's going to live with us. There's just a few things they have to take care of first." Kaede squeaked back, keeping her voice as even as she could. She had learned quickly that Onigumo enjoyed getting a violent reaction from her. One of the best ways to annoy him was stay as calm as possible. "And my name's Kaede, not 'girl'," She finished.

  


"And you believed her, didn't you, _girl,_" Onigumo chuckled, the sound sending shivers down Kaede's spine, "After all, your just a child and a child wouldn't understand."

  


"What don't I understand?" Kaede asked offhandedly, not really even expecting an answer to her question she continued what she had been doing, pouring the now finished mixture of soup and herbs into a bowl.

  


"Adults don't want children around to interfere with their relationship. After all, your precious, saintly _onee-sama_ hasn't told you a damn thing about him, you don't even know what he _looks_ like." He said, the spite in his voice obvious. Kaede was sure that he was jealous of Inu Yasha, but she couldn't figure out why, adults were strange creatures to her. It was true though, Kaede didn't even know what Inu Yasha looked like, or what he did for a living and it hurt that Kikyou hadn't told her.

  


"I bet she doesn't want you to know. One day soon you'll wake up to find her gone and you'll never know where to start looking for her, girl."

  


Kaede looked down at Onigumo, her face twitching. The urge to spit in his soup was overwhelming, but she managed to fight it off. She wouldn't loose her temper, and she had promised herself that Onigumo wouldn't ruin her good mood today.

  


"That _won't _happen," Kaede said firmly, spiting out each word, not quiet believing it herself, Onigumo was doing nothing more than voicing Kaede's not quite quelled fears. She shook her head, it _couldn't_ happen, Kikyou would never leave her alone, _never._

  


"So sure about that, aren't you girl?" Onigumo said as Kaede turned to face him getting ready to feed him his breakfast of drug laced soup.

  


"I trust onee-sama," Kaede said quietly as she started to feed the wounded bandit his soup. But, at that moment, she wasn't quiet sure she believed her own words.

Determined to have the last word, she scrunched her face and looked back down at Onigumo, "And my name's Kaede, you dumb ass."

  


The mixture quickly put Onigumo to sleep, and Kaede changed his bandages where they needed it, grateful for the silent haven formed in the lack of the man's scathing remarks. His baiting of her had brought her buried doubts to the surface of her thoughts at full force. Kaede finished up quickly and then gathered her things. Instead of heading back to the village however, she instead ran further away, out toward the fields she knew that her sister found solace in. She went, confident that Kikyou would lay to rest her doubts once and for all and make her life normal again.

  


* * *

  


The sound of someone walking through the tall grass woke Kikyou with a start. Without even thinking of what she was doing, she grabbed her bow and readied it, then sprang up, aiming at the direction the sound game from. When her eyes focused a second later she was greeted by the sight of Inu Yasha, who stood in a fighting pose, watching her coldly, his eyes hurt and confused.

  


Kikyou lowered her bow slowly, a flush of embracement staining her cheeks. She looked down at the ground, suddenly feeling very stupid. She shyly glanced back up at Inu Yasha who had relaxed his stance and stared at her, confused.

  


"I'm sorry, Inu Yasha," She started softly, "I. . .I was sleeping and you just startled me. . ." She trailed off, not knowing what else to say. _What kind of woman drew a bow on her lover? _Was Kikyou's first thought, followed by, _but, what kind of miko has a hanyou for a lover?_

  


"You were sleeping?" Inu Yasha asked, his voice bemused and disbelieving. Kikyou nodded slightly, her face still red. "Youwere sleeping? Here, in the middle of the field?"

  


Kikyou glared up at him, angry for no real reason, "Well, you weren't here when I got here, what did you want me to do? Turn around and leave?"

  


"No!" Inu Yasha returned, the tense situation playing on his temper as well, "But I'm not that late, damn it!"

  


"Not that late? Half the time you follow me around like a stray dog, but when I ask you to meet me somewhere you take your damned time showing up!" Kikyou was mildly surprised when she heard herself swear out loud, Inu Yasha was certainly rubbing off on her in that respect, "I don't even know how long I've been out here waiting for you!" She finished, poking Inu Yasha in the chest with a small finger, not even sure when she had closed off the distance between him.

  


Inu Yasha grabbed her hand and pulled her even closer, her face now inches from his, "What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean, Kikyou?!" Inu Yasha shouted, and this close to his face, Kikyou could see the light glint off of fang, making him look more like a wild animal then a man. "If you don't want me around any more, just say the word and I'll fucking leave!"

  


"That's not what I. . .mph!" Kikyou's sentence was cut short as Inu Yasha pressed his mouth to hers in deep, almost punishing kiss. The kiss was angry and passionate, and Kikyou responded to it, the frustration of the past few days now channeled into the kiss. Inu Yasha crushed her into him and Kikyou could feel his claws tear at her clothing, cut into her skin. Inu Yasha's mouth moved farther down, bitting and suckling at her neck his hands pulling her down with him into the tall grass.

  


"Wha. . .What are you doing?" Kikyou asked, gasping as a now too familiar ache rose within her, shattering her thoughts with the rising heat.

  


"What I came here to do, bitch, talk with you." Inu Yasha answered, his voice almost harsh as he pressed his mouth to hers once again, his tongue fighting against hers. He pulled away and biting at her lip, "Why, do you want me to stop?" He laughed against her lips, "Because I'm not going to." Kikyou shuddered as he bit at her mouth again and his clawed hand pushed her clothing away, cupping her breast.

  


"You. . .you fucker. . ." She gasped, using one of his choice words back on him. Frankly, Kikyou never swore, she wasn't even completely sure what she had said. Inu Yasha was most definitely a bad influence on her.

  


Kikyou could feel him chuckle, the sound of it lost as he took her other breast in his mouth, bitting at it then suckling, tickling the peak with his tongue as his other hand, claws and all, massaged her other breast the moved down farther.

"What a dirty mouth you have for a miko," the words were spoken into her chest and were followed by yet another dark chuckle. He looked up at her, his golden eyes burning into her deep blue ones, "I like that, _my _dirty mouthed miko."

  


Kikyou groaned, bitting her lip as he undressed her the rest of the way, nuzzling and bitting at her neck, shoulders and breasts. Every sensation burned into her mind and every word, every words burned into her soul. 

  


"You smell so good, even better than usual," he whispered, his breath brushing against the sweat covered skin there. He turned her over then, mounting her from behind. Kikyou couldn't even remember when he had managed to undress himself, but then those thoughts disappeared as he pounded her his body covering hers. Both of their frustration spiced the passion they shared, making it almost dark in nature.

  


"I could do this forever. Ride _my _bitch. _My_ Kikyou," Inu Yasha growled into her ear. The dark words, the dark passion split Kikyou down the middle, her body responding even more while the part of her that was Kikyou the shrine maiden, the part that felt guilty for running off and neglecting her duties, felt strange somehow, tainted. It was like she was two separate people: Kikyou the woman, who very much enjoyed the dark pleasure she shared with Inu Yasha and Kikyou the miko, quiet and reserved, who was still there, screaming that this was wrong.

  


As his words, mouth and thrusts pushed her over the edge, Kikyou almost managed to bury the miko in her beneath the woman. The woman letting out a smothered shout as Inu Yasha turned her head to meet his, their lips mashing together as he followed her, sheathing himself as deep in her as he possibly could.

  


In the afterglow Inu Yasha pulled Kikyou to him, and she laid her head on his chest panting hard and snuggling close. She looked up at him and smiled softly, he really did look like a puppy. But, something bothered her.

  


"Inu Yasha?" Kikyou asked softly, her fingers playing with his absently.

  


"Hmm?"

  


"Do you love me?" She asked, and Kikyou heard him chuckle softly.

  


Inu Yasha shifted and kissed Kikyou's forehead softly, "Of course I do." He said simply, musing her hair with a clawed hand in an eerie parallel of the gesture she used to calm Kaede. "Why do you have to ask?"

  


Kikyou shrugged, then moved away from him, sitting up, her long hair falling loose about her shoulders and brushing against the ground. He looked up at her, confused. He sat up as well and Kikyou's hands closed over his.

  


"Do you want to live with me?" Kikyou asked simply.

  


"Of course I do, but there isn't any way that would work. You _know _that. . ." Inu Yasha started but Kikyou silenced him with a finger on his lips.

  


"Would you do anything to be with me?" Kikyou asked, half teasingly.

  


"Yes damnit! How many times are you going to ask the same damn question?"

  


Kikyou laughed, "I have an idea." Kikyou explained her plan to Inu Yasha who just sat, listening, rapt. When she finished Inu Yasha shook his head, confused.

  


"I don't know, Kikyou. I have to think about it." Inu Yasha said softly.

  


Kikyou felt hurt for a moment, until she realized that what she was asking was indeed a big and hard decision and one that would change his life, and hers, forever. She smiled and kissed his hand and nodded.

  


"Will you meet me here tomorrow, same time?" She asked, "I can explain more then, and then you can decide." 

  


Inu Yasha nodded and squeezed her hand in his. Then he embraced her and Kikyou held him back. When everything was said and done he and Kikyou could be happy and then she could be a normal woman and they would have a family. She hugged him even tighter, if she was right about what had been bothering her lately, they already had a family on the way.

  


Wrapped in each other's arms neither noticed the young girl, who watched from the tree line, shaking and crying she turned and ran away. Neither Kikyou or Inu Yasha even noticed.

  


* * *

  


Kaede held herself tightly as she lay on the floor staring at the wall. She had run back as fast as she could, confused and hurt, not knowing what was going on. She had been looking for Kikyou wanting, no _needing_ to talk to her older sister. She checked the first two places her sister normally went off to when she wanted to be alone with no luck. She had found her in the third, only Kikyou hadn't been alone.

  


Kaede's first thought when she had stumbled upon the field was that a youkai was attacking her sister. Kikyou was arguing with him then and Kaede started to run toward her, ready to protect her older sister, when the situation changed. Kaede covered her mouth with her hands, stifling a sob. Her sister's great and wonderful Inu Yasha was a youkai. Kaede had stopped in her tracks, then hid behind a nearby tree, wanting to move, but unable to do so.

  


Kaede couldn't understand it. All other things aside, the fact that she had stumbled on her sister doing _that_ with a youkai tore Kaede apart. Her sister was a miko, it was her job to _hunt_ youkai, not fall in love with them. Kaede felt like her world had turned upside down and she was sick to her stomach.

  


She heard Kikyou enter their small hut and she curled up into an even tighter ball, not wanting to look at her sister. Kikyou came up next to her then sat down beside her. Kaede could feel her sister's eyes upon her, but she didn't care. Kaede felt Kikyou's hand touch her hair, and involuntarily, she flinched away from the touch.

  


"Kaede, what's wrong?" Kikyou asked, quietly.

  


Kaede didn't answer, she just shook her head and squeezed her eyes closed.

  


"Are you ill? Did you hurt your self?" Kikyou asked. Kaede shook her head to both questions, still not saying anything.

  


Kikyou's hands turned Kaede over to face her, and Kaede opened her eyes, looking up at her older sister's face.

  


"Kaede, what's wrong?" Kikyou asked again.

  


Kaede sat up and whipped her eyes dry then asked her question, "Onee-sama, Inu Yasha. . .Inu Yasha isn't a youkai, is he?"

  


Kikyou looked taken aback before she shook her head, smiling sadly, "Of course not. Where did you ever get a silly idea like that?" She answered, pulling Kaede close in a sisterly embrace. Kaede felt shocked and was stunned speechless, Kikyou had just _lied_ to her. Kikyou laid Kaede back down, covering her with a spare kimono and brushing back her hair.

  


"Get some sleep Kaede, you'll need your rest if your coming down with something." She said softly, kissing Kaede softly on the forehead before moving away. Kaede didn't sleep the whole night. She just stared at the wall. If her sister had just lied to her about this, what else had she lied about? 

  


* * ^-^* * *

  


Author's note: Woah, pilling on the angst! Well, remember to read and review, and I revised the other four chapters as well (I hope for the better)

  


Let me know if you liked it! (Double again for you guys on adultfanfiction.net, need you to review more!)

  


Hehehe, have a nice night every one. And review!!!!!!

  


Sephira jo-

Author, Lunatic, Onigiri

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
